The Invention (of : 'My friend Zimmermann')

The Invention

My friend Zimmermann is busy with an invention – and in no case he even should face the slightest disturbance.
As much as I am concerned, this is very much okay – so I have my peace….

Since I am not a curious person, I stay away to annoy him constantly, but confine myself to call him just every two hours, to find out what kind of invention it is about. But Zimmermann
is not to be moved, to give even a single hint of his doing. – It’s quite nerve-wracking.
Imagine : I have to stand up in the night every two hours, to set the alarm clock for this calls, which are not to be missed ! – Really very nerve-wrecking … ! Since I know this
Person, I just have trouble with him !

After all, this lasts since three weeks now – and no end in sight. I rack the countless halves of my brain, in order to find a way to trick him out. – So far without success….
I’m totally tired. It’s to despair …. it is – it is time for my call !

“So tell me at least … tell me … give me just a little clue !”
Zimmermann replies condescendingly.
“I am just saying, it will strike like a bomb ! A novelty. – Never before there was such a thing.”
And he hangs up. What can I just do…? A week ago, I gave two false reports to the hospitals of our environment: ‘Helpless person
is rooming around mistakenly inside the property so and so….’ All useless !
After that I alerted the fire department. – They threatened me…. In case of recurrence I would be imprisoned ! And they sent me a huge bill … ! ! What else can I do ?

I tried to bribe two Jehovah’s witnesses, to go to Zimmermann’s house for spying, and then report back to me. – They nearly would have beaten me up with their umbrellas … ! !
- How deep can a person decrease yet !
The thought of roofers which, by removing an area of Zimmermann’s roof, grant me an inlet, I rejected again. – The inventor is sitting inside the house and immediately would smell a rat….

I need some sleep to think clear again. I get myself on the sofa and fall asleep in no time…
When I wake up again, five hours have passed ! – I forgot to set the alarm clock. – Terrible!
On the other hand – I feel somewhat rested and my head has become a little clearer. – I can
think again….. - - I will try it by violence ! With the spare key I keep, I just will open the front door and overwhelm him ! Simple, but effective ….

… I’m on the road to his house. - - - I open the front door, storm into the living room –
nothing ! No Zimmermann – no mysterious equipment ….
I search the other rooms, including the attic. – The same result ! Zimmermann’s bicycle stands in the yard – he must be at home ! - - Has he made himself invisible …? Is that his invention…? The basement ! I hurry down the stairs, around the corner ….. a massive new steel door is blocking my way …..
So here is the scene of Zimmermann’s alchemistic doings ! But how do I get in … ?

I hurry back up the stairs, across the courtyard to the rear of the house…. Even from above the stairs I can see it : Again, a new steel door ! All my efforts so unsuccessful …. Dejected I go back to my home.

There must be a way ! ! I am racking my brain ….. without result. Exhausted, I lay on my couch. – I have to divert myself, so I turn on the TV. A movie is just coming to the end, then comes ‘Hidden Camera’. I will watch …. I jump… ‘Hidden Camera’ ! That’s it !
Elated, I dance through my living room. - I idiot ! I rhinoceros ! ! Why didn’t I thought before … ? !
I need a mini-camera ! There are several special shops – in Holland ! - Be it !

- - - I pack my bag and travel to Holland.
- Soon I find, what I need. – I return with four mini-cameras including the accessories.
At the next opportunity I will install the devices in Zimmermann’s house. – I have to know, where he keeps the key to the steel door !

The next day I go to Zimmermann’s domicile again. I assure myself by ringing the bell, that the owner of the house is not in cocooning, then I go to work.
- After an short hour I’m done and return home highly satisfied. At the purchase of the cameras I did not spare with my finances. The devices have very powerful aerials – so I can see everything, sitting comfortably in my living room !
I prepare some sandwiches, take from the refrigerator a bottle of lemonade – and settle down in front of the monitor…..
- - - It works ! !

I can see Zimmermann’s steel door, the living room, the bedroom – even the kitchen ! Now
nothing can turn wrong anymore ! I wait, with a view of the steel door, to which I switched back. I wait and eat my sandwiches. It takes time. Finally the steel door opens ! I sit upright ! Now – now !
The inventor closes the door – unfortunately, I am not able to cast a glance at the interior of the cellar, having the camera angle calculated incorrectly – the key is in the keyhole and Zimmermann locks off. The key he attaches to a chain, which he carries around his neck.
My God, - well, not that ! At a chain – around his neck ! I …. I must – I must therefore
catch him in his sleep … !

Now I’ve got time till evening and can rest a bit. – Hardly that I made myself comfortable
on the couch, the phone rings. It is my friend – the inventor !

“You are not calling anymore ! Are you hatching something ?”
I do not answer.
“Well, however”, Zimmermann continues, “I’ve finished my invention. – You are allowed to come and admire it.”
He hung up… I’m out of speech….. The expensive cameras !
I jump into my car and drive to Zimmermann. – That’s exactly like him ! Just now !
He happily opens the door and escorts me into the living room. On the table I see an electric razor.
Zimmermann points with a great gesture to it:
“Here – my invention !”
“A razor…?”

Scoffing I leave Zimmermann’s house, drive to the next department store and buy an commercial, low-cost electric razor.
Then I go back to this daring crazy. Gloating, I present the equipment:
“Here – I just bought. – They are in fact available since a very long time !”
I can’t suppress my enjoyment about his defeat. Zimmermann is surprisingly quiet.
“Of course it exists for a long time.”
He points to an inch – thick, small disc, which is located next to the razor :

“ ….. but not …. with remote control …..! !”